There is a first time for everything.
Like a bus driver telling someone to get off the bus for asking for a ticket.
Pansy has been using Joburg's Metrobus for over two years, and today, for the first time, a bus driver told her to get off the bus because she insisted on having a ticket.
On the odd occasion when Pansy is working in Sandton or Rosebank, she must pay a cash fare because the ticket system doesn't allow her to travel on the 430 route using her bus tag. Although the tag is loaded with three zones (1-3) she cannot use it from zone 3 to zone 2 if the bus is going to or from zone 6 in Roodepoort. However she can use it if she is travelling to or from zone 6 in the north or east. It's a very bizarre system that makes no sense.
No matter, she must pay cash because it's not worth her buying a tag loaded with zone 3 to 2 on the 430 route, as she travels it very infrequently.
It seems the drivers on the 430 route bag the cash fares, because there have been a few occasions where she had to ask the driver repeatedly for a ticket and she was given one somewhat reluctantly, usually preceeded with a greasie.
So this morning she got on the bus.
"Rosebank please."
"8 Rand."
....
...........
............................
"May I have a ticket please?"
The bus was quite full, and at this point a lady standing next to Pansy positioned herself between Pansy and the driver and said to her scornfully,
"Why do you want a ticket?"
"Why shouldn't I want a ticket?"
There was a pause, almost as if the lady was loading ammunition in a revolver. She looked at Pansy, her gold-capped incisors flashing like the metal on a bullet.
"Why do you want a ticket?"
"What's wrong with getting a ticket?"
"But you are getting out just now."
"So?"
"So why do you want a ticket"
"Well I'm not giving him R8 to buy coke."
"Do you need it to show your boss?"
"Yes."
This was not true, but Pansy just said it to get the woman off her case.
By now a few of the other women in the bus started to humph and chuckle.
Pansy asked Mme Artillery to step aside so that she could talk to the driver herself.
"May I have a ticket please."
"If you want a ticket you must take the next bus." And at this point the driver stopped the bus and opened the door.
"I'm not getting out the bus, gimme a ticket!"
........
....................
".......................................8 rand eighty."
So Pansy got an extra eighty cents out of her wallet and he gave her a ticket.
Dear reader, Pansy is in no way implying that she is blameless. Indeed, over the years she has talked herself out of a few traffic fines. She doesn't pay bribes, but she just verbal-diarrhoeas the policeman until he lets her off. Although one day she unknowingly did an illegal u turn, and a policeman sprung out of nowhere and pulled her over. She was late for an appointment, and had neither the time nor the energy to do her usual blabbermouth tactics. So she said to the policeman, "Ok, I'm sorry, I was wrong, I'm late, just give me the ticket so I can go." The policeman was stunned. He fumbled. Maybe he'd never actually written a ticket before.
"The ticket is 600 rand."
"Ok."
....
..........
.....................
He fumbled some more.
"Ok go."
Coooooooool! Pansy reckons that he must have been expecting a bribe instead of a request for the fine. Maybe it wasn't even supposed to be R600. Anyway, I digress. Pansy is not pointing fingers, she is in no way blameless blaa blaa.
So today, having arrived at her destination, she pondered over this incident: the first time she has experienced a driver asking someone to get off the bus for asking for a ticket. What was it that made him do that? I reckon there were two reasons. It was not that he was annoyed about a cash passenger wanting a ticket. No no. I reckon he was peeved that not only did a woman have the audacity to stand up to him, but she was actually telling him what to do. South African men are very sexist. Sorry for the generalisation, but it's true :)
And the other taunting women? What was their motive? Probably something along the lines of, "Who the hell does she think she is bloody kwerekwere with a fake accent."
So Pansy spent the day in Rosebank, and got the bus home.
She gave the driver a R10 note. (A different driver). He put R2 in her hand. She kept her hand there (for a ticket). He gave her back another rand.
("Oh JEEEEEEEZ," thought our little Petal, "not again!!!!)"
"Can I have a ticket please."
Two ladies at the front of the bus started to snigger and taunt in Zulu, "Driver, this is the one that wants a ticket, you'd better give her a ticket."
I will not repeat what went through Pansy's mind at this point - the thoughts directed at those women. Indeed, it was Lifebuoy material. Remember the good old days of getting our mouths washed out with Lifebuoy at school if we used dirty language?
Pansy swapped R2 for 20c and he gave her a ticket.
No wonder the 430 is always so full. Metrobus don't allocate double decker buses because they think the single decker is enough. Meanwhile it's packed, but Metrobus doesn't know because people on cash fares are not getting tickets. Nevermind the fact that if there is an accident you are not insured without a ticket. But most ironic of all is that a tag fare is about 25% cheaper than the unofficial cash fare. Maybe the regulars have never bothered to work this out.
Fortunately, incidents like today's are isolated. The drivers on Pansy's regular routes are darlings (most of them). Two of them are very special, Jonathan and Sollie. More about them another time.
No comments:
Post a Comment